Post by Admin on Sept 13, 2022 13:41:33 GMT -5
1. How Do You Turn This On? (1-0)
145-125.5 Win over It’s Not About The Mooney
In a turn of events that shocked no one, our very own Rickety Pickit himself led his powerhouse roster to a solid win in Week 1. Rob did give John a run for his money with a strong point total of his own, but he was simply no match. Stefon Diggs (26) kicked off the season with a big night while the Mahomes/Kelce stack combined for a cool 64. CMC (14) and the Bills D/ST (18) also kicked in admirable performances.
While the roster itself clearly is capable of putting up points, a lot of these performances were either hot or cold. David Montgomery (6.5) barely out-snapped his backup and DJ Moore (5.5) couldn’t get going with Baker. CeeDee Lamb (3) looked lost and will now be without Dak for at least 2 months. The gods have seen to test John’s roster early, and he will face off against his fellow Juan in Week 2.
2. Keep MY Phamily’s Name Out Yo Mouth (1-0)
130-125 Win over Drake’s New Favorite Team
Our other resident pick slut, Frank won a narrow victory over the 2020 Champ on the backs of good to great performances out of D’Andre Swift (28), AJ Brown (22.5), Ja’Marr Chase (25.5) and Mike Evans (15.5). Frank has also returned to the Trey Lance well this year, and so far it hasn’t looked like a slam dunk. Lance (11) suffered from terrible weather conditions and the lack of his star TE George Kittle, who, by the way, Frank also has. Maybe he can finally get his stack in Week 2 against Dan.
3. Glizzy Gobblers (1-0)
108-64 Win over Jesus at Red Rocks
In our largest margin of victory this week, Christian scorched Dan thanks in part to a near-200 yard performance from Justin Jefferson (37). Aside from a good Lamar Jackson (21.5) day though, no one on this roster was crazy impressive. Najee Harris (10) looked good before leaving with a foot injury but no one else among the starters even broke double digits. It wasn’t a great start to the week either after Allen Robinson (1.5) continued his trend from last year of being invisible. Christian gets to face off with fellow hot dog mascot Steve who is fresh off a narrow victory against the commissioner.
4. Mickey Mouse Club (1-0)
128-99 Win over Burrow’s Burgers
If not for the Glizzers win over Dan, Andy would have held the biggest blowout of the inaugural week. Labeck the elder saw a tri of great performances from Davanta Adams (27.5), Michael Pittman (25) and Kyler Murray (21) and a promising start for breakout candidate Amon-Ra St. brown (16). On the flip side though, Javonte Williams (13.5) hasn’t been able to snatch full time starting duties from Melvin Gordon and Chase Edmonds (9) was unexciting in his Dolphin debut. Cole Kmet putting up a donut certainly didn’t do Andy any favors either, but the entire 49ers/Bears game seemed like a mulligan. Andy is off to a fine start at 1-0 and #3 in points.
5. Jolly Rodgers (1-0)
85.5-80 Win over MaKamaraka Great Again
Steve better get down on his knees and thank whatever god he prays to that Nathaniel Hackett is a gosh darn bonehead. The Broncos’ suspect coaching late in the game basically handed Steve his narrow, narrow victory in Week 1 as just a single completion for Russ would have lost him the week. Enjoy it while it lasts.
The Broncos also gave Steve his high scorer in the week in Jerry Jeudy (22), but it didn’t take much to be Steve’s high scorer this week as Derrick Henry (10), Jaylen Waddle (15.5) and the Chargers D/ST (12) were the only other double digit scorers. The most concerning among these was Aaron Rodgers (5) whose receiving options got a downgrade from Davante Adams to Sammy Watkins. I’m convinced Watkins will have that gullible nimrod Rodgers believing he’s also some kind of solar being lizard person by the end of the year. Let’s see if your luck continues in Week 2 against Christian.
6. Dirty D (1-0)
92.5-82.5 Win over Clean D
Mike caught a break in Week 1 when Dak left the game with only 5 points under his belt, cutting his day short and giving Mike the breathing room he needed to pull this one out. Score one for the dirty boys. Being clean is for dorks.
Mike had an excellent day from Jalen Hurts (26) while Miles Sanders (17) and Dalvin Cook (13.5) pitched in as well. Cook was a bit underwhelming given the 1st round draft slot, but I don’t think its anything to be alarmed about just yet. 2 things that do worry me about this team going forward - Zeke and Keenan Allen. Allen (8) left the game with a hamstring injury but he’s always banged up. Zeke (6.5) could be in trouble though. With Dak hurt, the team’s passing game is essentially cratered, leading to more stacked boxes as they try to lean on Zeke. Did I mention he barely outpaced Tony Pollard? Mike will take on division mate Rob who is looking to get his first W.
7. Drake’s New Favorite Team (0-1)
125-130 Loss to Keep My Phamily’s Name Out Yo Mouth
Much like Rob, LiMonta also caught a tough break this week, scoring a very respectable 125+ and still bringing home a L. Such is life. You’ll get em next time champ. Just look at the schedule. I’m pretty sure you’ll get em.
The real knife-twist here is that LiMonta kicked off the 2022 season with a huge night out of Josh Allen (34.5) and Cooper Kupp (27) demoralizing Frankie before the week was barely even started. But outside of Christian Kirk (16.5) this team struggled to find its footing. The RB duo of Aaron Jones and Damien Harris only managed a combined 13.5. JuJu (8) didn’t have anything electric going with Mahomes and Dallas Goedert (7.5) was ok for a TE, but nowhere near enough of a difference maker. LiMonta gets to square up with the bish commish in a matchup he’s currently projected to win by double digits.
8. It’s Not About The Mooney (0-1)
125.5-140 Loss to How Do I Turn This On?
Rob put up a valiant effort, but it was all for naught against the Titan of the NBPL. Saquon Barkley (33.5) lef the charge with his resurgence while Justin Herbert (25) and Leisure Suit Lenny (18.5) were both good. Scary Terry (13.5) while Deebo (11) was less than his usual self and Darnell Mooney (0.5) was basically useless. It really isn’t always about the money, Spy-Da-Man.
Rob will take a tough loss and move on to week 2 against Mike to see if he can even out his record.
9. MaKamaraka Great Again (0-1)
85-85.5 Loss to Jolly Rodgers
BRONCOS COUNTRY, LET’S RIDE!
A sad day for ya boi as the galaxy-brained coaching of the Denver Donkeys more than likely cost me a Week 1 win over Steve. I would rather get outscored by 50 than lose by half a point. I’d rather slam my fingers in a car door than lose by half a point.It really makes you question if this is all worth it in the end.
Anyway, Russell Wilson (23) looked pretty solid if not a little shaken up against his former team. I guess watching Geno Smith out play you would rattle even the most battle-hardened of men. Kareem Hunt (21) had 2 scores which is also cool. Everyone else? Not quite sure if they realized the season started. Hollywood’s 12 points was the best of the bunch after that. To put it mildly, not good. Facing Josh Allen next week is just what this squad needs.
10. Burrow’s Burgers (0-1)
99-128 Loss to Mickey Mouse Club
Despite the heroics of Jonanthan Taylor (30.5) older brother could not overcome older brother in Week 1. JT was supported by Nick Chubb (19) and Joe Burrow (22.5) but the rest of the roster was a major flop. Neither Marvin Jones (5) or Sammy Watkins (2.5) did anything of note, while Dawson Knox (0.5) was too busy counting his money to be relevant at all. Even his kicker in Harrison Butker (9) got hurt, adding injury to insult. Or something like that.
With his flag already flying, I don’t think Olc very much cares how his team fares this year. It’s still fun to compete, though right? Just probably not next week against John coming off a 140 point week.
11. Clean D (0-1)
82.5-92.5 Loss to Dirty D
With his starting QB sidelined for quite some time, it’s not going to be an easy climb for our boy Drew. While backup Derek Carr is serviceable, it will take a lot of luck for this team to overcome a devastating injury.
Shockingly, Antonio Gibson (16) was this team’s high scorer despite the presence of Austin Ekeler (9), Tyreek Hill (13) Tee Higgins (3) and James Conner (13.5) Higgins also got his brain scrambled on a play, so that may be 2 injuries Drew is staring down the barrel of. Plus, if Gibson get’s his butterfingers back he may end up without a job. Drew will get to square off with Andy in Week 2 and believe it or not, he’s projected to win.
12. Jesus At Red Rocks (0-1)
64-108 Loss to Glizzy Gobblers
Things just kept getting worse for Dan this week, First Stafford bombs on Thursday night. Then JK Dobbins is listed as out. Then Mike Williams scored 2 points. Then Eli Mitchell got hurt. The hits just kept on coming for a roster that was already in question.
Combine all that and you get a 64 point showing and a keeper out for multiple weeks. On the bright side, Dan will most likely get Dobbins back this week. Joe Mixon (19.5) looks fine, and Stafford gets to play the Falcons.
On the not so bright side again, Dan will have to do battle with Frankie, who is coming off of a comeback win against LiMonta.
145-125.5 Win over It’s Not About The Mooney
In a turn of events that shocked no one, our very own Rickety Pickit himself led his powerhouse roster to a solid win in Week 1. Rob did give John a run for his money with a strong point total of his own, but he was simply no match. Stefon Diggs (26) kicked off the season with a big night while the Mahomes/Kelce stack combined for a cool 64. CMC (14) and the Bills D/ST (18) also kicked in admirable performances.
While the roster itself clearly is capable of putting up points, a lot of these performances were either hot or cold. David Montgomery (6.5) barely out-snapped his backup and DJ Moore (5.5) couldn’t get going with Baker. CeeDee Lamb (3) looked lost and will now be without Dak for at least 2 months. The gods have seen to test John’s roster early, and he will face off against his fellow Juan in Week 2.
2. Keep MY Phamily’s Name Out Yo Mouth (1-0)
130-125 Win over Drake’s New Favorite Team
Our other resident pick slut, Frank won a narrow victory over the 2020 Champ on the backs of good to great performances out of D’Andre Swift (28), AJ Brown (22.5), Ja’Marr Chase (25.5) and Mike Evans (15.5). Frank has also returned to the Trey Lance well this year, and so far it hasn’t looked like a slam dunk. Lance (11) suffered from terrible weather conditions and the lack of his star TE George Kittle, who, by the way, Frank also has. Maybe he can finally get his stack in Week 2 against Dan.
3. Glizzy Gobblers (1-0)
108-64 Win over Jesus at Red Rocks
In our largest margin of victory this week, Christian scorched Dan thanks in part to a near-200 yard performance from Justin Jefferson (37). Aside from a good Lamar Jackson (21.5) day though, no one on this roster was crazy impressive. Najee Harris (10) looked good before leaving with a foot injury but no one else among the starters even broke double digits. It wasn’t a great start to the week either after Allen Robinson (1.5) continued his trend from last year of being invisible. Christian gets to face off with fellow hot dog mascot Steve who is fresh off a narrow victory against the commissioner.
4. Mickey Mouse Club (1-0)
128-99 Win over Burrow’s Burgers
If not for the Glizzers win over Dan, Andy would have held the biggest blowout of the inaugural week. Labeck the elder saw a tri of great performances from Davanta Adams (27.5), Michael Pittman (25) and Kyler Murray (21) and a promising start for breakout candidate Amon-Ra St. brown (16). On the flip side though, Javonte Williams (13.5) hasn’t been able to snatch full time starting duties from Melvin Gordon and Chase Edmonds (9) was unexciting in his Dolphin debut. Cole Kmet putting up a donut certainly didn’t do Andy any favors either, but the entire 49ers/Bears game seemed like a mulligan. Andy is off to a fine start at 1-0 and #3 in points.
5. Jolly Rodgers (1-0)
85.5-80 Win over MaKamaraka Great Again
Steve better get down on his knees and thank whatever god he prays to that Nathaniel Hackett is a gosh darn bonehead. The Broncos’ suspect coaching late in the game basically handed Steve his narrow, narrow victory in Week 1 as just a single completion for Russ would have lost him the week. Enjoy it while it lasts.
The Broncos also gave Steve his high scorer in the week in Jerry Jeudy (22), but it didn’t take much to be Steve’s high scorer this week as Derrick Henry (10), Jaylen Waddle (15.5) and the Chargers D/ST (12) were the only other double digit scorers. The most concerning among these was Aaron Rodgers (5) whose receiving options got a downgrade from Davante Adams to Sammy Watkins. I’m convinced Watkins will have that gullible nimrod Rodgers believing he’s also some kind of solar being lizard person by the end of the year. Let’s see if your luck continues in Week 2 against Christian.
6. Dirty D (1-0)
92.5-82.5 Win over Clean D
Mike caught a break in Week 1 when Dak left the game with only 5 points under his belt, cutting his day short and giving Mike the breathing room he needed to pull this one out. Score one for the dirty boys. Being clean is for dorks.
Mike had an excellent day from Jalen Hurts (26) while Miles Sanders (17) and Dalvin Cook (13.5) pitched in as well. Cook was a bit underwhelming given the 1st round draft slot, but I don’t think its anything to be alarmed about just yet. 2 things that do worry me about this team going forward - Zeke and Keenan Allen. Allen (8) left the game with a hamstring injury but he’s always banged up. Zeke (6.5) could be in trouble though. With Dak hurt, the team’s passing game is essentially cratered, leading to more stacked boxes as they try to lean on Zeke. Did I mention he barely outpaced Tony Pollard? Mike will take on division mate Rob who is looking to get his first W.
7. Drake’s New Favorite Team (0-1)
125-130 Loss to Keep My Phamily’s Name Out Yo Mouth
Much like Rob, LiMonta also caught a tough break this week, scoring a very respectable 125+ and still bringing home a L. Such is life. You’ll get em next time champ. Just look at the schedule. I’m pretty sure you’ll get em.
The real knife-twist here is that LiMonta kicked off the 2022 season with a huge night out of Josh Allen (34.5) and Cooper Kupp (27) demoralizing Frankie before the week was barely even started. But outside of Christian Kirk (16.5) this team struggled to find its footing. The RB duo of Aaron Jones and Damien Harris only managed a combined 13.5. JuJu (8) didn’t have anything electric going with Mahomes and Dallas Goedert (7.5) was ok for a TE, but nowhere near enough of a difference maker. LiMonta gets to square up with the bish commish in a matchup he’s currently projected to win by double digits.
8. It’s Not About The Mooney (0-1)
125.5-140 Loss to How Do I Turn This On?
Rob put up a valiant effort, but it was all for naught against the Titan of the NBPL. Saquon Barkley (33.5) lef the charge with his resurgence while Justin Herbert (25) and Leisure Suit Lenny (18.5) were both good. Scary Terry (13.5) while Deebo (11) was less than his usual self and Darnell Mooney (0.5) was basically useless. It really isn’t always about the money, Spy-Da-Man.
Rob will take a tough loss and move on to week 2 against Mike to see if he can even out his record.
9. MaKamaraka Great Again (0-1)
85-85.5 Loss to Jolly Rodgers
BRONCOS COUNTRY, LET’S RIDE!
A sad day for ya boi as the galaxy-brained coaching of the Denver Donkeys more than likely cost me a Week 1 win over Steve. I would rather get outscored by 50 than lose by half a point. I’d rather slam my fingers in a car door than lose by half a point.It really makes you question if this is all worth it in the end.
Anyway, Russell Wilson (23) looked pretty solid if not a little shaken up against his former team. I guess watching Geno Smith out play you would rattle even the most battle-hardened of men. Kareem Hunt (21) had 2 scores which is also cool. Everyone else? Not quite sure if they realized the season started. Hollywood’s 12 points was the best of the bunch after that. To put it mildly, not good. Facing Josh Allen next week is just what this squad needs.
10. Burrow’s Burgers (0-1)
99-128 Loss to Mickey Mouse Club
Despite the heroics of Jonanthan Taylor (30.5) older brother could not overcome older brother in Week 1. JT was supported by Nick Chubb (19) and Joe Burrow (22.5) but the rest of the roster was a major flop. Neither Marvin Jones (5) or Sammy Watkins (2.5) did anything of note, while Dawson Knox (0.5) was too busy counting his money to be relevant at all. Even his kicker in Harrison Butker (9) got hurt, adding injury to insult. Or something like that.
With his flag already flying, I don’t think Olc very much cares how his team fares this year. It’s still fun to compete, though right? Just probably not next week against John coming off a 140 point week.
11. Clean D
(0-1)82.5-92.5 Loss to Dirty D
With his starting QB sidelined for quite some time, it’s not going to be an easy climb for our boy Drew. While backup Derek Carr is serviceable, it will take a lot of luck for this team to overcome a devastating injury.
Shockingly, Antonio Gibson (16) was this team’s high scorer despite the presence of Austin Ekeler (9), Tyreek Hill (13) Tee Higgins (3) and James Conner (13.5) Higgins also got his brain scrambled on a play, so that may be 2 injuries Drew is staring down the barrel of. Plus, if Gibson get’s his butterfingers back he may end up without a job. Drew will get to square off with Andy in Week 2 and believe it or not, he’s projected to win.
12. Jesus At Red Rocks (0-1)
64-108 Loss to Glizzy Gobblers
Things just kept getting worse for Dan this week, First Stafford bombs on Thursday night. Then JK Dobbins is listed as out. Then Mike Williams scored 2 points. Then Eli Mitchell got hurt. The hits just kept on coming for a roster that was already in question.
Combine all that and you get a 64 point showing and a keeper out for multiple weeks. On the bright side, Dan will most likely get Dobbins back this week. Joe Mixon (19.5) looks fine, and Stafford gets to play the Falcons.
On the not so bright side again, Dan will have to do battle with Frankie, who is coming off of a comeback win against LiMonta.