Post by Admin on Nov 2, 2021 19:01:00 GMT -5
1. The DK Crew (5-3) +1
100-88.5 Win over 12 Years A Colluder (5-3)
It took a few weeks of crummy rankings, but you’ve finally made it to the promised land. Olc now sits behind only Rob for his division crown and is the current owner of the most points in the league.
This week, he enjoyed a solid performance from Joe Burrow (22), Diontae Johnson (12) and DK Metcalf (19) with Jonathan Taylor (20.5) consistently clawing his way to RB1. James Robinson (3.5) was a bit of a non factor with his injury, but it appears he’ll avoid missing any major time if any. What’s more is that Olc has reinforcement on the way in Russell Wilson, who is aiming to return after his Week 9 bye. After a slow start to the season, this squad has a target on its back after their 4th straight win. He’ll get a crack at the league punching bag in Week 9.
2. Drake’s New Favorite Team (5-3) -1
127-147.5 Loss to Mickey Mouse Club (4-4)
Despite some strong weeks out of Josh Allen (30), Joe Mixon (23), Cooper Kupp (25.5), and Cole Beasley (21), the reigning champ wasn’t able to pull out his 6th victory. Even his own family didn’t believe he could take on the might of the Mouse. What a shame. Still, thins could be a lot worse as LiMonta currently sitting at #2 in both the standings and points scored.
In week 9, he’ll face off with the man he took the trophy from, and the Lord of the Simps will be without Mike Evans.
3. Getting Higgy With It (6-2) +1
111-71.5 Win over Ha Gayyyyyyyyy (3-5)
Despite having only the 7th most points scored, Rob is currently top dog yet again and is the only team able to claim their 6th win. How this happened I couldn’t tell you, but what we can all agree on is that it is truly a national tragedy.
Despite CMC and Carson still being on the shelf and an uncharacteristic week from Kyler Murray (10) Rob was able to secure his victory over Christian thanks mostly to Deebo Samuel (25) and the Eagles D/ST (20). He can’t keep getting away with this.
In Week 9, he faces Dan who is looking to get back into the win column and possibly jump into the top spot of the Melvins.
4. 12 Years A Colluder (5-3) -1
88.5-100 Loss to The DK Crew (5-3)
With Lamar on bye, Dan looked to Teddy Bridgewater (13) to fill in, and while it didn’t quite work out that well he definitely still got some excellent weeks out of his suddenly strong RB group, namely Najee Harris (20.5) and Elijah Mitchell (25). Khalil Herbert (10) has been no slouch either, and may be in line for even more work if Damien Williams remains sidelined. The return of David Montgomery is imminent, but Herbert seems to have carved out a role for himself.
One concern this team has had has been consistency out of it’s receivers. DeAndre Hopkins has turned in single digits 3 times this season, while Mike Williams has turned in 3 or fewer points on 3 separate occasions. Their boom or bust nature will be a blessing or a curse when he takes on the Higgys later this week.
5. Mickey Mouse Club (4-4) +2
147.5-127 Win over Drake’s New Favorite Team (5-3)
Don’t look now, but Andy’s won 2 straight and is right back in the playoff conversation. The Elder Labeck had monster weeks from Chris Godwin (29) and Michael Pittman (25) while Tyreek (21) bounced back nicely. On the RB side, both James Conner (14) and CPatt (14.5) were both more than adequate and Aaron Rodgers (17) still remains an effective QB despite no longer regularly throwing for 400+ yards.
In Week 9, Andy is sitting pretty as he gets to face Steve who just lost Derrick Henry for the season and has RoJo on a bye. Must be nice.
6. Dying On This Tannehill (4-4) +4
126.5-60.5 Win over Ruggs Munchers (4-4)
Seemingly trading off devastating losses and crushing victories every week, John chose the latter in Week 8 as he more than doubled the score of his opponent.
Ryan Tannehill (25) had his best week of the year (you read that correctly), while Tyler Lockett (25), Austin Ekeler (22) and new addition AJ Brown (34) all performed swimmingly. It should have been me, AJ…
John’s team is currently 3rd in points and will only get stronger once Saquon Barkley is back up to speed. And what do you know, John gets to face an absolutely bye-mangled commish in Week 9, who will have no Tom Brady, D’Andre Swift, or TJ Hockenson. For the love of God be gentle please.
7. Superfluous Simps (4-4) +1
98-83.5 Win over Calico Cut Lance (1-7)
The Simpmaster himself secured victory numero cuatro on the season despite his less than stellar point total. But a W remains a W even if the competition wasn’t exactly the toughest out there.
Matt Stafford (31), Robert Woods (18.5), Mike Evans (14), and Tyler Boyd (15.5) all came through, making up for the duds from the likes of Samaje Perine (2), Dalton Shultz (2), and Zeke (10). He’ll get a fair shot at going back over .500 again this season when he takes on LiMonta and neither of them will have the help of their Buccaneer pals.
8. Ruggs Munchers (4-4) -2
60.5-126.5 Loss to Dying On This Tannehill (4-4)
In a week where half the league turned in sub-100 point totals, Steve was the king of shit mountain with a measly 60.5, good for the lowest single-week performance of the year so far. To make matters worse, Steve also lost god-king Derrick Henry (8) for what will most likely be the entire fantasy season. A crucial blow to a team that was still making noise for possible playoff contention. Steve will also be without Henry Ruggs for the foreseeable future as he is now facing serious legal charges. Not exactly an ideal week for Steve.
The rest of the roster didn’t fare much better. Pat Mahomes (16) couldn’t even put up 20 on the Giants and Stefon Diggs (12.5) has been a bit underwhelming this year. No one else on the roster managed double digits this week, and the Bucs D/ST did you one better with a cool -1 points. Speaking of Bucs, it does bring me some small amount of joy to see that RoJo (1.5) is just as capable of ruining someone else’s life as he is mine. Goodbye forever RoJo. At least until next year’s draft.
Things won’t get any easier for Steve in Week 9 as he takes on Andy who is fresh off of 2 straight wins.
9. MaKamaraka Great Again (4-4) -3
86.5-128.5 Loss to Dirty D (3-5)
Tears are words the heart can not express. In an effort to truly suck all of the joy out of my life, God decided to play a cruel prank on ya boi. After narrowly missing out on the exciting package of AJ Brown and Saquon Barkley, your dear leader decided to make a move for one Calvin Ridley for the price of one Chase Claypool and a 3rd round pick. A steep price, yes, but a team must sacrifice in order to succeed.
But succeed they certainly did not. In a week where Tom Brady (38) tallied over 40% of the entire squad’s points, barely anyone pulled their weight. And to put the cherry on top, not long after I hear that I would have to wait for Mr. Ridley’s debut, it was revealed that Calvin was “stepping away from football” indefinitely. And I am left holding the bag. Bravo, universe. You’ve yet again managed to raise my hopes and then utterly crush them. I hope you’re happy.
At least this week I get to face John without 3 or 4 of my best players. What could go wrong?
10. Dirty D (3-5) +1
128.5-86.5 Win over MaKamaraka Great Again (4-4)
In a Week where I thought I had it easy, Mikey took it to your boi in a big way, riding great performances out of Darrell Henderson (22.5), Aaron Jones (20.5) and Brandin Cooks (20). Jalen Hurts (11) finally had an iffy week but the duo of Keenan Allen (16) and Adam Thielen (16) helped pick him up.
Mike lost Robert Tonyan (5.5) for the season but long forgotten George Kittle seems to be on track to return just in time. While it may not be looking like a locked up playoff spot for Mike, there’s still plenty of football left, and he’ll get a shot at fellow 3-5 team Christian this week.
11. Ha Gayyyyyyyyy (3-5) -2
71.5-111 Loss to Getting Higgy With It (6-2)
Make it 2 straight losses for Christian who is now hovering near the bottom of the barrel at 3-5. A decent week out of CeeDee Lamb (19) was nowhere near enough to salvage a dud from Herbert (13) and the rest of his roster putting up a combined 39.5 points. Going forward, Christian has some possible breakout potential in Michael Carter (27.5) who along with Mike “the future” White, made the Jets offense look competent for once. Luckily for Christian, he still has some buffer between him and bottom of the division, and he’ll need to pounce on his opportunity against Mike in week 9 to climb out of the basement.
12. Calico Cut Lance (1-7) +0
83.5-98 Loss to Superfluous Simps SS (4-4)
Frank read the writing on the wall last week and decided it was time to start selling off assets. With the departure of AJ Brown and Saquon Barkley, Frank can now enjoy 2 marvelous years of Ja’Marr Chase (10.5) I hope you two are very happy together.
Back stabbings aside, Frank had a decent week from streamer Carson Wentz (20) and a solid bounce back from Chuba Hubbard (14.5). Unfortunately the same can’t be said for Kyle Pitts (2) and Chase Claypool (7) who was recently acquired for basically nothing. Frank’s quest to avoid being the first Melvin in history to be in a dress on draft day won’t get any easier when Olc and him square off this week.
100-88.5 Win over 12 Years A Colluder (5-3)
It took a few weeks of crummy rankings, but you’ve finally made it to the promised land. Olc now sits behind only Rob for his division crown and is the current owner of the most points in the league.
This week, he enjoyed a solid performance from Joe Burrow (22), Diontae Johnson (12) and DK Metcalf (19) with Jonathan Taylor (20.5) consistently clawing his way to RB1. James Robinson (3.5) was a bit of a non factor with his injury, but it appears he’ll avoid missing any major time if any. What’s more is that Olc has reinforcement on the way in Russell Wilson, who is aiming to return after his Week 9 bye. After a slow start to the season, this squad has a target on its back after their 4th straight win. He’ll get a crack at the league punching bag in Week 9.
2. Drake’s New Favorite Team (5-3) -1
127-147.5 Loss to Mickey Mouse Club (4-4)
Despite some strong weeks out of Josh Allen (30), Joe Mixon (23), Cooper Kupp (25.5), and Cole Beasley (21), the reigning champ wasn’t able to pull out his 6th victory. Even his own family didn’t believe he could take on the might of the Mouse. What a shame. Still, thins could be a lot worse as LiMonta currently sitting at #2 in both the standings and points scored.
In week 9, he’ll face off with the man he took the trophy from, and the Lord of the Simps will be without Mike Evans.
3. Getting Higgy With It (6-2) +1
111-71.5 Win over Ha Gayyyyyyyyy (3-5)
Despite having only the 7th most points scored, Rob is currently top dog yet again and is the only team able to claim their 6th win. How this happened I couldn’t tell you, but what we can all agree on is that it is truly a national tragedy.
Despite CMC and Carson still being on the shelf and an uncharacteristic week from Kyler Murray (10) Rob was able to secure his victory over Christian thanks mostly to Deebo Samuel (25) and the Eagles D/ST (20). He can’t keep getting away with this.
In Week 9, he faces Dan who is looking to get back into the win column and possibly jump into the top spot of the Melvins.
4. 12 Years A Colluder (5-3) -1
88.5-100 Loss to The DK Crew (5-3)
With Lamar on bye, Dan looked to Teddy Bridgewater (13) to fill in, and while it didn’t quite work out that well he definitely still got some excellent weeks out of his suddenly strong RB group, namely Najee Harris (20.5) and Elijah Mitchell (25). Khalil Herbert (10) has been no slouch either, and may be in line for even more work if Damien Williams remains sidelined. The return of David Montgomery is imminent, but Herbert seems to have carved out a role for himself.
One concern this team has had has been consistency out of it’s receivers. DeAndre Hopkins has turned in single digits 3 times this season, while Mike Williams has turned in 3 or fewer points on 3 separate occasions. Their boom or bust nature will be a blessing or a curse when he takes on the Higgys later this week.
5. Mickey Mouse Club (4-4) +2
147.5-127 Win over Drake’s New Favorite Team (5-3)
Don’t look now, but Andy’s won 2 straight and is right back in the playoff conversation. The Elder Labeck had monster weeks from Chris Godwin (29) and Michael Pittman (25) while Tyreek (21) bounced back nicely. On the RB side, both James Conner (14) and CPatt (14.5) were both more than adequate and Aaron Rodgers (17) still remains an effective QB despite no longer regularly throwing for 400+ yards.
In Week 9, Andy is sitting pretty as he gets to face Steve who just lost Derrick Henry for the season and has RoJo on a bye. Must be nice.
6. Dying On This Tannehill (4-4) +4
126.5-60.5 Win over Ruggs Munchers (4-4)
Seemingly trading off devastating losses and crushing victories every week, John chose the latter in Week 8 as he more than doubled the score of his opponent.
Ryan Tannehill (25) had his best week of the year (you read that correctly), while Tyler Lockett (25), Austin Ekeler (22) and new addition AJ Brown (34) all performed swimmingly. It should have been me, AJ…
John’s team is currently 3rd in points and will only get stronger once Saquon Barkley is back up to speed. And what do you know, John gets to face an absolutely bye-mangled commish in Week 9, who will have no Tom Brady, D’Andre Swift, or TJ Hockenson. For the love of God be gentle please.
7. Superfluous Simps (4-4) +1
98-83.5 Win over Calico Cut Lance (1-7)
The Simpmaster himself secured victory numero cuatro on the season despite his less than stellar point total. But a W remains a W even if the competition wasn’t exactly the toughest out there.
Matt Stafford (31), Robert Woods (18.5), Mike Evans (14), and Tyler Boyd (15.5) all came through, making up for the duds from the likes of Samaje Perine (2), Dalton Shultz (2), and Zeke (10). He’ll get a fair shot at going back over .500 again this season when he takes on LiMonta and neither of them will have the help of their Buccaneer pals.
8. Ruggs Munchers (4-4) -2
60.5-126.5 Loss to Dying On This Tannehill (4-4)
In a week where half the league turned in sub-100 point totals, Steve was the king of shit mountain with a measly 60.5, good for the lowest single-week performance of the year so far. To make matters worse, Steve also lost god-king Derrick Henry (8) for what will most likely be the entire fantasy season. A crucial blow to a team that was still making noise for possible playoff contention. Steve will also be without Henry Ruggs for the foreseeable future as he is now facing serious legal charges. Not exactly an ideal week for Steve.
The rest of the roster didn’t fare much better. Pat Mahomes (16) couldn’t even put up 20 on the Giants and Stefon Diggs (12.5) has been a bit underwhelming this year. No one else on the roster managed double digits this week, and the Bucs D/ST did you one better with a cool -1 points. Speaking of Bucs, it does bring me some small amount of joy to see that RoJo (1.5) is just as capable of ruining someone else’s life as he is mine. Goodbye forever RoJo. At least until next year’s draft.
Things won’t get any easier for Steve in Week 9 as he takes on Andy who is fresh off of 2 straight wins.
9. MaKamaraka Great Again (4-4) -3
86.5-128.5 Loss to Dirty D (3-5)
Tears are words the heart can not express. In an effort to truly suck all of the joy out of my life, God decided to play a cruel prank on ya boi. After narrowly missing out on the exciting package of AJ Brown and Saquon Barkley, your dear leader decided to make a move for one Calvin Ridley for the price of one Chase Claypool and a 3rd round pick. A steep price, yes, but a team must sacrifice in order to succeed.
But succeed they certainly did not. In a week where Tom Brady (38) tallied over 40% of the entire squad’s points, barely anyone pulled their weight. And to put the cherry on top, not long after I hear that I would have to wait for Mr. Ridley’s debut, it was revealed that Calvin was “stepping away from football” indefinitely. And I am left holding the bag. Bravo, universe. You’ve yet again managed to raise my hopes and then utterly crush them. I hope you’re happy.
At least this week I get to face John without 3 or 4 of my best players. What could go wrong?
10. Dirty D (3-5) +1
128.5-86.5 Win over MaKamaraka Great Again (4-4)
In a Week where I thought I had it easy, Mikey took it to your boi in a big way, riding great performances out of Darrell Henderson (22.5), Aaron Jones (20.5) and Brandin Cooks (20). Jalen Hurts (11) finally had an iffy week but the duo of Keenan Allen (16) and Adam Thielen (16) helped pick him up.
Mike lost Robert Tonyan (5.5) for the season but long forgotten George Kittle seems to be on track to return just in time. While it may not be looking like a locked up playoff spot for Mike, there’s still plenty of football left, and he’ll get a shot at fellow 3-5 team Christian this week.
11. Ha Gayyyyyyyyy (3-5) -2
71.5-111 Loss to Getting Higgy With It (6-2)
Make it 2 straight losses for Christian who is now hovering near the bottom of the barrel at 3-5. A decent week out of CeeDee Lamb (19) was nowhere near enough to salvage a dud from Herbert (13) and the rest of his roster putting up a combined 39.5 points. Going forward, Christian has some possible breakout potential in Michael Carter (27.5) who along with Mike “the future” White, made the Jets offense look competent for once. Luckily for Christian, he still has some buffer between him and bottom of the division, and he’ll need to pounce on his opportunity against Mike in week 9 to climb out of the basement.
12. Calico Cut Lance (1-7) +0
83.5-98 Loss to Superfluous Simps SS (4-4)
Frank read the writing on the wall last week and decided it was time to start selling off assets. With the departure of AJ Brown and Saquon Barkley, Frank can now enjoy 2 marvelous years of Ja’Marr Chase (10.5) I hope you two are very happy together.
Back stabbings aside, Frank had a decent week from streamer Carson Wentz (20) and a solid bounce back from Chuba Hubbard (14.5). Unfortunately the same can’t be said for Kyle Pitts (2) and Chase Claypool (7) who was recently acquired for basically nothing. Frank’s quest to avoid being the first Melvin in history to be in a dress on draft day won’t get any easier when Olc and him square off this week.