Post by Admin on Oct 14, 2020 14:57:36 GMT -5
1. Mickey Mouse Club (4-1) +2
Just like that we are reminded that Andy does, in fact, have a good team. He’s closing the gap on points and is handed an easy matchup in Week 6 with the commissioner. Be gentle, my heart can’t take much more.
2. Dirty D (4-1) +1
Our rags to riches story continues, as that makes 4 in a row for Mikey D. You may call 115 points per game with a 4-1 record unsustainable and lucky, but I call it 3rd place. We’ll see if Michael Thomas can get his head out of his ass and back on the football field with Mike taking on Dan this week.
3. The Washington Fantasy Team (3-2) -2
Dan was spared the wrath of Dak Prescott in Week 5, putting up his worst point total of the year and still easily coming out on the other end with a W. Lamar’s continued inconsistency is a concern, but the rest of the roster sure ain’t. In his first taste of inter-divisional combat, Murph squares up with Mike in what I think will be the MATCHUP OF THE WEEK
4. Chicken Finger Poops (3-2) +1
After a heartbreaking close call loss in Week 3, Christian’s luck was reversed as he squeaked by Frank for his 3rd victory. The Kelce/Patty stack was back in full force with a combined 61 points and TY Hilton had his best game of 2020 with, uh, 9. Christian can relax in Week 6 with Drew on the schedule.
5. Wet Ass P-Words (3-2) -3
Frank was the recipient of a tough luck loss to Christian this week despite his best efforts. Starting Freddy Fridgewater (30) over Matt Ryan (9) was an excellent choice, but the rest of the team outside of Miles Sanders and Kareem Hunt couldn’t get the job done. Like Christian and Andy, Frank is lined up for a simple task in Week 6 against Olc the elder.
6. Hasta Laviska Baby (3-2) +2
John has now won 2 straight, totalling 307 points over the last 2 matchups much to the dismay of his opponents. Week 5 wasn’t ever really in doubt with his opponent not even topping 100, but the performance remains impressive all the same. With Chris Godwin possibly returning, we should be in for a good matchup as he takes on LiMonta.
7. LiMonta’s Team Stinks (3-2) +0
That's 2 consecutive weeks of uninspiring performance from Steve, as the once promising squad is now looking much more at home in the middle of the pack. His point totals are still above average, but with only 12 point separating Steve between 4th and 8th in league, another performance like Week 5 could easily land him in the bottom third. He’ll have to deal with Russel Wilson on a bye in Week 6, so he’ll have to hope Cam is back from his COVID diagnosis.
8. Revenge of the Mack (2-3) -2
It was a valiant effort, but not enough for Rob to stop the steamroller of Mike’s roster. Kyler Murray (33) tied his season high in points and Todd Gurley (28) is continuing to prove the haters and his achy knees wrong by staying a relevant RB. He’ll have to take advantage of Steve’s slumping team if he wants to get back to a .500 record.
9. Drake’s New Favorite Team (2-3) +1
We all need to applaud this bravery. LiMonta took the worst beating this league has ever seen, and got right back up and won himself a matchup in Week 5. You are stunning and brave.
LiMonta avoided the Melvins’ basement thanks in large part to Alexander Mattison (21.5), DJ Moore (20), and Darius Slayton (21). Josh Allen (17) continued his skid with his worst start of the year, and Mark Ingram (6) continues to clog rosters the planet over. He has a tall order with John’s red-hot team on the schedule for Week 6.
10. DeVante’s Inferno (1-4) -1
I wasn’t going to win this one anyway, but then Dak’s ankle was smashed into a thousand pieces and here we are. Amari Cooper (3) now has to rely on Andy Dalton for his passes and Joe Mixon (13) had the nerve to not score 50 points again.
It’s Tom Terrific time yet again for this commissioner. Welcome back you beautiful man. I hope you enjoy last place.
11.The DK Crew (1-4) +0
In other “lost cause” news we have this squadron, who have now lost 2 in a row, this one at the hands of the 1st place team.
Joe Burrow (5) cratered while Dalton Shultz (0.5) was a letdown even before Dak’s ankle got twisted like a pretzel. Keenan Allen (9) was looking good again before suffering some back spasms. It’s said he’ll be fine but I’ll believe that when I see it. Especially with the cursed nature of this roster. At least Jonathan Taylor (14) and Myles Gaskin (17.5) are looking like a solid RB 1-2 punch. It’s no Saquon and Chubb, but then again, who is?
Olc will take on Frank in Week 6 and will do so without his prized possession DK Metcalf.
Andrew Andrews AA (1-4) +0
Also known as “the DeAndre Hopkins Sweepstakes” Drew’s team continued its weak run of performances that has dated back to Week 2. Over the course of those 4 weeks, Drew has averaged 85.75 per game. If that’s not the recipe for 4 straight losses, I don’t know what is.
Aside from the soon to depart Hopkins (27), another day at the office from Mark Andrews (14) and a surprising performance from Drew Brees (32), this team is destitute. 2 goose eggs out of John Brown and AJ Green along with 1.5 out of D Johnson just won’t get the job done. Unless you played me this week, that just isn’t gonna cut it. Drew will be forced to start QB21 Carson Wentz against Christian in Week 6 if he can’t come up with one by then.
Just like that we are reminded that Andy does, in fact, have a good team. He’s closing the gap on points and is handed an easy matchup in Week 6 with the commissioner. Be gentle, my heart can’t take much more.
2. Dirty D (4-1) +1
Our rags to riches story continues, as that makes 4 in a row for Mikey D. You may call 115 points per game with a 4-1 record unsustainable and lucky, but I call it 3rd place. We’ll see if Michael Thomas can get his head out of his ass and back on the football field with Mike taking on Dan this week.
3. The Washington Fantasy Team (3-2) -2
Dan was spared the wrath of Dak Prescott in Week 5, putting up his worst point total of the year and still easily coming out on the other end with a W. Lamar’s continued inconsistency is a concern, but the rest of the roster sure ain’t. In his first taste of inter-divisional combat, Murph squares up with Mike in what I think will be the MATCHUP OF THE WEEK
4. Chicken Finger Poops (3-2) +1
After a heartbreaking close call loss in Week 3, Christian’s luck was reversed as he squeaked by Frank for his 3rd victory. The Kelce/Patty stack was back in full force with a combined 61 points and TY Hilton had his best game of 2020 with, uh, 9. Christian can relax in Week 6 with Drew on the schedule.
5. Wet Ass P-Words (3-2) -3
Frank was the recipient of a tough luck loss to Christian this week despite his best efforts. Starting Freddy Fridgewater (30) over Matt Ryan (9) was an excellent choice, but the rest of the team outside of Miles Sanders and Kareem Hunt couldn’t get the job done. Like Christian and Andy, Frank is lined up for a simple task in Week 6 against Olc the elder.
6. Hasta Laviska Baby (3-2) +2
John has now won 2 straight, totalling 307 points over the last 2 matchups much to the dismay of his opponents. Week 5 wasn’t ever really in doubt with his opponent not even topping 100, but the performance remains impressive all the same. With Chris Godwin possibly returning, we should be in for a good matchup as he takes on LiMonta.
7. LiMonta’s Team Stinks (3-2) +0
That's 2 consecutive weeks of uninspiring performance from Steve, as the once promising squad is now looking much more at home in the middle of the pack. His point totals are still above average, but with only 12 point separating Steve between 4th and 8th in league, another performance like Week 5 could easily land him in the bottom third. He’ll have to deal with Russel Wilson on a bye in Week 6, so he’ll have to hope Cam is back from his COVID diagnosis.
8. Revenge of the Mack (2-3) -2
It was a valiant effort, but not enough for Rob to stop the steamroller of Mike’s roster. Kyler Murray (33) tied his season high in points and Todd Gurley (28) is continuing to prove the haters and his achy knees wrong by staying a relevant RB. He’ll have to take advantage of Steve’s slumping team if he wants to get back to a .500 record.
9. Drake’s New Favorite Team (2-3) +1
We all need to applaud this bravery. LiMonta took the worst beating this league has ever seen, and got right back up and won himself a matchup in Week 5. You are stunning and brave.
LiMonta avoided the Melvins’ basement thanks in large part to Alexander Mattison (21.5), DJ Moore (20), and Darius Slayton (21). Josh Allen (17) continued his skid with his worst start of the year, and Mark Ingram (6) continues to clog rosters the planet over. He has a tall order with John’s red-hot team on the schedule for Week 6.
10. DeVante’s Inferno (1-4) -1
I wasn’t going to win this one anyway, but then Dak’s ankle was smashed into a thousand pieces and here we are. Amari Cooper (3) now has to rely on Andy Dalton for his passes and Joe Mixon (13) had the nerve to not score 50 points again.
It’s Tom Terrific time yet again for this commissioner. Welcome back you beautiful man. I hope you enjoy last place.
11.The DK Crew (1-4) +0
In other “lost cause” news we have this squadron, who have now lost 2 in a row, this one at the hands of the 1st place team.
Joe Burrow (5) cratered while Dalton Shultz (0.5) was a letdown even before Dak’s ankle got twisted like a pretzel. Keenan Allen (9) was looking good again before suffering some back spasms. It’s said he’ll be fine but I’ll believe that when I see it. Especially with the cursed nature of this roster. At least Jonathan Taylor (14) and Myles Gaskin (17.5) are looking like a solid RB 1-2 punch. It’s no Saquon and Chubb, but then again, who is?
Olc will take on Frank in Week 6 and will do so without his prized possession DK Metcalf.
Andrew Andrews AA (1-4) +0
Also known as “the DeAndre Hopkins Sweepstakes” Drew’s team continued its weak run of performances that has dated back to Week 2. Over the course of those 4 weeks, Drew has averaged 85.75 per game. If that’s not the recipe for 4 straight losses, I don’t know what is.
Aside from the soon to depart Hopkins (27), another day at the office from Mark Andrews (14) and a surprising performance from Drew Brees (32), this team is destitute. 2 goose eggs out of John Brown and AJ Green along with 1.5 out of D Johnson just won’t get the job done. Unless you played me this week, that just isn’t gonna cut it. Drew will be forced to start QB21 Carson Wentz against Christian in Week 6 if he can’t come up with one by then.