Post by Admin on Sept 29, 2020 13:37:38 GMT -5
POWER RANKINGS - WEEK 3
1. The Washington Fantasy Team (2-1) +1
165-158 Win over Chicken Finger Poops (1-2)
Ranking the top 3 teams is basically a crapshoot at this point, as we all know who they’re going to be. This week, I’ll give Murph his moment in the sun. In a bit of a MNF nail biter, Lamar Jackson (14) was less than his best, but was still enough to seal the W over Christian. With the exception of Hayden Hurst (6.5) this team came out blastin in Week 3, with Dalvin Cook (31), James Robinson (28), Calvin Ridley (18.5) and Allen Robinson (28) all crushing it. Aaron Jones (15) and Mason Crosby (16) weren’t half bad either. If you haven’t noticed, Murph is a big fan of his team - and for good reason. He is currently the league points leader and will be vying with Steve for the division lead.
2. Mickey Mouse Club (3-0) -1
160.5-89 Win over Andrew Andrews AA (1-2)
Andy doesn’t get to be in the Matchup of the Week anymore because he just makes them unexciting as hell. After crushing his brother in Week 2, Andy then bitch slapped his fellow Drew in the Drewperbowl victory with a 70+ point margin.
The star of the show was Tyler Lockett (40.5) whose 100 yards and 3 receiving TDs were simply *chef’s kiss* while James Conner (28), Aaron Rodgers (26) and Tyreek Hill (17.5) all got the job done. The Buccaneers D/ST (19) also terrorized the Broncos, recording 6 sacks, 2 picks, a blocked kick, and a safety. Andy draws Rob and Sleepy Clyde for Week 4.
3. Liam’s Team Stinks (3-0) +0
174-105.5 Win over DeVante’s Inferno (0-3)
Yes, Liam’s team does stink quite mightily. Steve continued his excellent roll of victories in the early going, topping the scoreboard in a week that saw multiple teams put up 150+. Russel Wilson (46) has been nothing short of dominant while Derrick Henry (32) had his best week of the season so far. Juju (14), Stefon Diggs (12), and Zach Ertz (10.5) all performed admirably as well. The real surprise here was Rex Fucking Burkehead (29.5), of all people. After not putting up more than 16 points in a single week since the beginning of last season, Sexy Rexy decides that this is the matchup where he should all of a sudden rack up 3 touchdowns. Sweet. Not that it mattered, Burkehead could have recorded no yards, no touchdowns, and fumbled 19 times and Steve still would have won. I did the math.
In Week 4, Steve will face off with Christian in what I can only describe as your hopeful downfall.
4. Dirty D (2-1) +6
136-94.5 Win over Hasta Laviska Baby (1-2)
Don’t look now, but Mike’s team is looking pretty sexy. Despite still going without his first round pick, Mike planted a healthy 136 points on John in Week 3, thanks in large part to Darrel Henderson (24.5), Tyler Boyd (22), and waive wire darling Mike Davis (19). Russel Gage (3) was a big letdown though after his hype train took off going into the week, and Deshaun Watson (17) has yet to have a game worth of his draft price tag. Chris Carson (9.5) may also hit the sideline after he got his leg all rolled up on in one of the dirtier plays we’ve seen in recent memory. Mike takes on a skidding Drew in Week 4 with a solid chance to secure his 3rd win.
5.Chicken Finger Poops (1-2) -1
158-165 Loss to The Washington Fantasy Team (2-1)
Christian almost managed a victory in MNF on the backs of Patty Mahomes (50) and Travis Kelce (11) but he couldn’t pull the rabbit out of the hat and now sits at 1-2. It’s ok, at least you still have me in your division, buddy.
The aforementioned Chiefs duo along with Alvin Kamara (44.5) did most of the heavy lifting for this squad, while Melvin Gordon (5) and TY Hilton (6.5) were very just OK. Diontae Johnson (0) who looked to be breaking out may now miss some time with a concussion. Christian’s team is very quietly 4th in points scored, but has had to endure an average of 140 points against per week in the early going. Not ideal. That streak doesn’t look to be going south anytime soon with Steve on the docket for Week 4.
6. Revenge of the Mack (1-2) -1
111.5-155.5 Loss to The DK Crew (1-2)
You had one job. Just win and keep me out of sole possession of last place. I am not asking a lot of you. Please.
Rob turned in a fine week but it wasn’t enough to compete with one of the many staunch point totals we saw on Sunday. Kyler Murray (22) continues to be a solid QB in his sophomore season while Low Energy Clyde (17.5), Todd Gurley (15.5), Mike Evans (13), and Kenny Golladay (14) were all adequate to good. I think the problem here is that while the majority of this team had a solid floor, the ceiling just seems capped from having a monster game. Rob is currently 1-2 and is staring down the barrel at a 3rd loss as he squares off with the best team in his division in Week 4.
7. Wet Ass P-Words (2-1) +1
99-92.5 Win over Drake’s New Favorite Team (1-2)
Frank lucked out big time this week, as his opponent was left hung out to dry with Julio Jones (0) locked in his starting lineup. And that could very much have been the difference maker in a week where none of Frank’s starters scored higher than 13 points. Yes, you read that correctly. Miles Sanders, Kareem Hunt, Will Fuller, and the Browns D/ST all put up identical 13 point marks while Matt Ryan (12), Antonio Gibson (10.5) and OBJ (7) couldn’t even manage as much. Still, a victory is a victory and they all count the same. Frank may not be so lucky facing off against a red-hot Murph in Week 4
8.Drake’s New Favorite Team (1-2) -2
92.5-99 Loss to Wet Ass P-Words (2-1)
Not even Josh Allen could save you this time. Allen (37) was once again electric but the rest of this squad was just a pain to endure watching. Mark Ingram (3) is starting to look cooked and the trio of DJ Moore (7), Hunter Henry (7.5) and Sammy Watkins (10) were all uninspiring. Greg The Leg (9) wasn’t half bad for a kicker, but it mattered not in the end. The bench was not very encouraging either, only securing 12.5 points as Davante, Justin Jackson, and Bryce Love were all inactive. It’s been a bit of a tough go so far for the Champ, but he’ll get a chance at respite in Week 4 when he plays yours truly in what should be an absolute garbage fest.
9. Hasta Laviska Baby (1-2) -2
94.5-136 Loss to Dirty D (2-1)
Things just keep getting worse for this squad, as a nice week out of Cooper Kupp (25.5) was mostly wasted as the fightin’ Laviskas were dispatched quite easily by Mike. Chris Godwin (14.5) looked like he had no lingering effects of his concussion...buuut is now expected to miss some time with a hamstring injury. Gardner Minshew (12) was a chore to watch on TNF while Zeke Elliott (15) had a poor week by his standards. Without a solid QB and injuries to both Kittle and Godwin, along with the general suckiness of Adam Thielen’s (9.5) Vikings, this team will need to get healthy and scour the waiver wire if they want to stay in the hunt. I hear Jared Goff (33) might be available.
10. The DK Crew (1-2) +2
155.5-111.5 Win over Revenge of the Mack (1-2)
Olc clawed his way out of the basement in Week 3 thanks to multiple great performances, namely from Keenan Allen (28.5), Nick Chubb (28.5), DK Metcalf (22) and Joe Burrow (28) who was a savvy start despite the now free agent Drew Brees (28) looking like he may be bouncing back. Metcalf also had a hilarious woopsie daisy, when he fumbled at the 1 after trying to pimp a touchdown. Robert Woods (18.5) and Jonathan Taylor (12.5) were both serviceable as well.
Olc will look to keep the winning streak alive in Week 4, as he takes on John in what could very well decide who gets free reign in the NBPL basement. Sure, why not, it’s THE MATCHUP OF THE WEEK!
11. Andrew Andrews AA (1-2) -2
89-160.5 Loss to Mickey Mouse Club (3-0)
Drew fell hard in Week 3, being the only team that failed to put up at least 90 points and was absolutely smacked up in the early season Drewperbowl. Your team is bad and you should feel bad.
Austin Ekeler (25.5) and DeAndre Hopkins (23) were both quite good this week but after them, yikes. Ryan Tannehill (17.5) doesn’t appear to be the answer for Drew at QB either while Kenyan Drake (8.5), Julian Edleman (3), Mark Andrews (3.5) and Jonh Brown (0) were all crummy or completely useless. Drew’s 309.5 points on the year so far is far less than we’re accustomed to him getting, and spotty QB and RB play is mostly to blame. In Week 4, he’ll have no easy task when he takes on Mike. Spencer Ware is rolling over in his grave.
12. DeVante’s Inferno (0-3) -1
105.5-174 Loss to Liam’s Team Stinks (3-0)
Dak Prescott is too good for this team. Prescott (49) continued his wonderful 2020 season but the rest of this time can unironically get fucked. David Johnson (12) continues his “fool’s gold” tour while Marquise Brown (2) has fallen apart worse than the Ravens whenever they have to play a team with a defense. Evan Engram (3.5) might be kinda good if he didn’t play on the slapdick Giants, while Jerrick McKinnon (14.5) was a solid waiver wire play.
What’s that? Jeff Wilson (20.5) actually did better and I didn’t start him? A microcosm of my season - even when I do something right, it’s still pretty shitty. Joe Mixon (7) is straight up addicted to single digit points. If he can’t break out of his shell in Week 4 agains the Jaguars laughable defense, then he’s totally useless. The only way I’m getting a W in Week 4 is if LiMonta forgets to set his lineup again.
1. The Washington Fantasy Team (2-1) +1
165-158 Win over Chicken Finger Poops (1-2)
Ranking the top 3 teams is basically a crapshoot at this point, as we all know who they’re going to be. This week, I’ll give Murph his moment in the sun. In a bit of a MNF nail biter, Lamar Jackson (14) was less than his best, but was still enough to seal the W over Christian. With the exception of Hayden Hurst (6.5) this team came out blastin in Week 3, with Dalvin Cook (31), James Robinson (28), Calvin Ridley (18.5) and Allen Robinson (28) all crushing it. Aaron Jones (15) and Mason Crosby (16) weren’t half bad either. If you haven’t noticed, Murph is a big fan of his team - and for good reason. He is currently the league points leader and will be vying with Steve for the division lead.
2. Mickey Mouse Club (3-0) -1
160.5-89 Win over Andrew Andrews AA (1-2)
Andy doesn’t get to be in the Matchup of the Week anymore because he just makes them unexciting as hell. After crushing his brother in Week 2, Andy then bitch slapped his fellow Drew in the Drewperbowl victory with a 70+ point margin.
The star of the show was Tyler Lockett (40.5) whose 100 yards and 3 receiving TDs were simply *chef’s kiss* while James Conner (28), Aaron Rodgers (26) and Tyreek Hill (17.5) all got the job done. The Buccaneers D/ST (19) also terrorized the Broncos, recording 6 sacks, 2 picks, a blocked kick, and a safety. Andy draws Rob and Sleepy Clyde for Week 4.
3. Liam’s Team Stinks (3-0) +0
174-105.5 Win over DeVante’s Inferno (0-3)
Yes, Liam’s team does stink quite mightily. Steve continued his excellent roll of victories in the early going, topping the scoreboard in a week that saw multiple teams put up 150+. Russel Wilson (46) has been nothing short of dominant while Derrick Henry (32) had his best week of the season so far. Juju (14), Stefon Diggs (12), and Zach Ertz (10.5) all performed admirably as well. The real surprise here was Rex Fucking Burkehead (29.5), of all people. After not putting up more than 16 points in a single week since the beginning of last season, Sexy Rexy decides that this is the matchup where he should all of a sudden rack up 3 touchdowns. Sweet. Not that it mattered, Burkehead could have recorded no yards, no touchdowns, and fumbled 19 times and Steve still would have won. I did the math.
In Week 4, Steve will face off with Christian in what I can only describe as your hopeful downfall.
4. Dirty D (2-1) +6
136-94.5 Win over Hasta Laviska Baby (1-2)
Don’t look now, but Mike’s team is looking pretty sexy. Despite still going without his first round pick, Mike planted a healthy 136 points on John in Week 3, thanks in large part to Darrel Henderson (24.5), Tyler Boyd (22), and waive wire darling Mike Davis (19). Russel Gage (3) was a big letdown though after his hype train took off going into the week, and Deshaun Watson (17) has yet to have a game worth of his draft price tag. Chris Carson (9.5) may also hit the sideline after he got his leg all rolled up on in one of the dirtier plays we’ve seen in recent memory. Mike takes on a skidding Drew in Week 4 with a solid chance to secure his 3rd win.
5.Chicken Finger Poops (1-2) -1
158-165 Loss to The Washington Fantasy Team (2-1)
Christian almost managed a victory in MNF on the backs of Patty Mahomes (50) and Travis Kelce (11) but he couldn’t pull the rabbit out of the hat and now sits at 1-2. It’s ok, at least you still have me in your division, buddy.
The aforementioned Chiefs duo along with Alvin Kamara (44.5) did most of the heavy lifting for this squad, while Melvin Gordon (5) and TY Hilton (6.5) were very just OK. Diontae Johnson (0) who looked to be breaking out may now miss some time with a concussion. Christian’s team is very quietly 4th in points scored, but has had to endure an average of 140 points against per week in the early going. Not ideal. That streak doesn’t look to be going south anytime soon with Steve on the docket for Week 4.
6. Revenge of the Mack (1-2) -1
111.5-155.5 Loss to The DK Crew (1-2)
You had one job. Just win and keep me out of sole possession of last place. I am not asking a lot of you. Please.
Rob turned in a fine week but it wasn’t enough to compete with one of the many staunch point totals we saw on Sunday. Kyler Murray (22) continues to be a solid QB in his sophomore season while Low Energy Clyde (17.5), Todd Gurley (15.5), Mike Evans (13), and Kenny Golladay (14) were all adequate to good. I think the problem here is that while the majority of this team had a solid floor, the ceiling just seems capped from having a monster game. Rob is currently 1-2 and is staring down the barrel at a 3rd loss as he squares off with the best team in his division in Week 4.
7. Wet Ass P-Words (2-1) +1
99-92.5 Win over Drake’s New Favorite Team (1-2)
Frank lucked out big time this week, as his opponent was left hung out to dry with Julio Jones (0) locked in his starting lineup. And that could very much have been the difference maker in a week where none of Frank’s starters scored higher than 13 points. Yes, you read that correctly. Miles Sanders, Kareem Hunt, Will Fuller, and the Browns D/ST all put up identical 13 point marks while Matt Ryan (12), Antonio Gibson (10.5) and OBJ (7) couldn’t even manage as much. Still, a victory is a victory and they all count the same. Frank may not be so lucky facing off against a red-hot Murph in Week 4
8.Drake’s New Favorite Team (1-2) -2
92.5-99 Loss to Wet Ass P-Words (2-1)
Not even Josh Allen could save you this time. Allen (37) was once again electric but the rest of this squad was just a pain to endure watching. Mark Ingram (3) is starting to look cooked and the trio of DJ Moore (7), Hunter Henry (7.5) and Sammy Watkins (10) were all uninspiring. Greg The Leg (9) wasn’t half bad for a kicker, but it mattered not in the end. The bench was not very encouraging either, only securing 12.5 points as Davante, Justin Jackson, and Bryce Love were all inactive. It’s been a bit of a tough go so far for the Champ, but he’ll get a chance at respite in Week 4 when he plays yours truly in what should be an absolute garbage fest.
9. Hasta Laviska Baby (1-2) -2
94.5-136 Loss to Dirty D (2-1)
Things just keep getting worse for this squad, as a nice week out of Cooper Kupp (25.5) was mostly wasted as the fightin’ Laviskas were dispatched quite easily by Mike. Chris Godwin (14.5) looked like he had no lingering effects of his concussion...buuut is now expected to miss some time with a hamstring injury. Gardner Minshew (12) was a chore to watch on TNF while Zeke Elliott (15) had a poor week by his standards. Without a solid QB and injuries to both Kittle and Godwin, along with the general suckiness of Adam Thielen’s (9.5) Vikings, this team will need to get healthy and scour the waiver wire if they want to stay in the hunt. I hear Jared Goff (33) might be available.
10. The DK Crew (1-2) +2
155.5-111.5 Win over Revenge of the Mack (1-2)
Olc clawed his way out of the basement in Week 3 thanks to multiple great performances, namely from Keenan Allen (28.5), Nick Chubb (28.5), DK Metcalf (22) and Joe Burrow (28) who was a savvy start despite the now free agent Drew Brees (28) looking like he may be bouncing back. Metcalf also had a hilarious woopsie daisy, when he fumbled at the 1 after trying to pimp a touchdown. Robert Woods (18.5) and Jonathan Taylor (12.5) were both serviceable as well.
Olc will look to keep the winning streak alive in Week 4, as he takes on John in what could very well decide who gets free reign in the NBPL basement. Sure, why not, it’s THE MATCHUP OF THE WEEK!
11. Andrew Andrews AA (1-2) -2
89-160.5 Loss to Mickey Mouse Club (3-0)
Drew fell hard in Week 3, being the only team that failed to put up at least 90 points and was absolutely smacked up in the early season Drewperbowl. Your team is bad and you should feel bad.
Austin Ekeler (25.5) and DeAndre Hopkins (23) were both quite good this week but after them, yikes. Ryan Tannehill (17.5) doesn’t appear to be the answer for Drew at QB either while Kenyan Drake (8.5), Julian Edleman (3), Mark Andrews (3.5) and Jonh Brown (0) were all crummy or completely useless. Drew’s 309.5 points on the year so far is far less than we’re accustomed to him getting, and spotty QB and RB play is mostly to blame. In Week 4, he’ll have no easy task when he takes on Mike. Spencer Ware is rolling over in his grave.
12. DeVante’s Inferno (0-3) -1
105.5-174 Loss to Liam’s Team Stinks (3-0)
Dak Prescott is too good for this team. Prescott (49) continued his wonderful 2020 season but the rest of this time can unironically get fucked. David Johnson (12) continues his “fool’s gold” tour while Marquise Brown (2) has fallen apart worse than the Ravens whenever they have to play a team with a defense. Evan Engram (3.5) might be kinda good if he didn’t play on the slapdick Giants, while Jerrick McKinnon (14.5) was a solid waiver wire play.
What’s that? Jeff Wilson (20.5) actually did better and I didn’t start him? A microcosm of my season - even when I do something right, it’s still pretty shitty. Joe Mixon (7) is straight up addicted to single digit points. If he can’t break out of his shell in Week 4 agains the Jaguars laughable defense, then he’s totally useless. The only way I’m getting a W in Week 4 is if LiMonta forgets to set his lineup again.