Post by Admin on Nov 5, 2019 14:18:39 GMT -5
1. The DK Crew +1
123-123.5 Loss to BeWare -
It was another SNF dagger for Olc, and this one was a real heartbreaker. Despite some strong showings out of DeShaun Watson (21), Melvin Gordon (25.5) and DK Metcalf (31) it was just too little to bring home the W. This was a crucial loss for Olc as the win would have solidified him atop the NBPL, but Olc is still well positioned to try for a Bye. What’s more, he now has a target on his back for most points as his lead in the category has shrunk to just 16 points. On the bright side, he gets the bish commish in Week 10 who’s team is absolutely crippled with Byes and injuries. If there’s a week to go without Watson, it’s this one.
2. Voodoo Mama Juju +1
124-150.5 Loss to Drake’s New Favorite Team
In another Week 9 upset, Christian scored well but just couldn’t overcome the prowess of uh, Kenyan Drake. Christian saw nice weeks out of David Montogmery (21.5) and Mike Evans (35) but fell short with Aaron Rodgers (14) Juju (2.5) and to an extent Dalvin Cook (15). Christian now finds himself locked in a tough 3 way tie for 2nd place in the Melvins, and is making a claim for the most points crown. In Week 10 he’ll face off with John who will have to go without his best player. Hopefully the sudden rise of Devin Singletary can help offset some of the inconsistencies this team has show thus far.
3. BeWare - +1
123.5-123 Win over The DK Crew
Despite back to back weeks of hot garbage, Drew managed to weasel his way into another win in Week 9,with mostly Action Jackson (30) to thank for it. Add in some solid performances from Jamison Crowder (18), Le’Veon Bell (16) and Jordan Howard (15.5) and it was just enough to sneak by and obtain sole possession of 1st place. With both Edelman and Howard on Bye in Week 10 and Le’Veon nursing an injury, Drew may be headed back for mediocrity. Pat Mahomes is also looking to make his triumphant return for Frank who could play spoiler for Drew. He may be in 1st, but the reigning champ has looked quite beatable the last few weeks and the dynasty is in jeopardy. I’ll just have to make sure not to give him half my roster again this year. He already took a few of them but they dead now so no harm no foul.
4. The Jerk Goffs -3
59-112.5 Loss to James Whites Only
We have a new low scoring champ everybody! This was a grade-A shit show and I bet Murph is incredibly relieved he didn’t come to Football Sunday this week as he would have been roasted alive for being so bad at this. Only one player managed double digits and it was a paltry 13 points from Felipe Rios. Aside from Aaron Jones (3.5) and Darren Waller (6) who have been otherwise excellent this year, the rest of this roster has no excuse. Sony Michel (2.5) has been inconsistent. Keenan Allen (5.5) has had 2 good weeks all year. Davante Adams (7.5) has been forgettable when he’s not injured. This team needs Alvin Kamara back yesterday, and he’ll need all the help he can get with Andy and CMC on the dockett for Week 10.
5. The Brady Bunch +0
125-101.5 Win over Patty Munch
Never have I seen such a false advertisement. A luxurious castle built upon a foundation of sand. This team is a phony, store-brand waste of time. And yet here I am in 1st place in the Melvins division. Bow down idiots, you somehow allowed this terrible roster to be holding down a bye in Week 10.
But, as previously stated, this roster is in fact terrible. With legitimately no depth to speak of, Week 10 has brought a massive amount of bye weeks that have lead to me starting not 1 but 2 Miami Dolphins. But hey, knowing my stupid luck I’ll probably drop 150 on olc. Head to head is a joke.
Aside from a nice Marvin Jones (27) performance, this squad was pretty meh. Both Terrific Tom (16) and Chris Carson (17) haven’t scored over 20 in 3 weeks. DeAndre Hopkins (14) has been fine but not the guy I intended to trade for. Adrian Peterson (18.5) has been surprisingly effective at points, but how long can I trust an aging running back on the Redskins? In the end, if this team does manage to snag a playoff spot I imagine it will stumble into a buzzsaw and be promptly bounced back to reality. I’d just like to give a preemptive congratulations to whatever team has the honor of grinding me into powder come Week 14.
6. James Whites Only +2
112.5-59 Win over The Jerk Goffs
Just when I’m confident Brendan’s team sucks again he goes and gets gifted a win. Despite a shaky start as Adam Thielen (0) was re-injured in the 1st quarter Brendan managed to hold down a respectable point total. Not that it mattered, but still.
Dak Prescott (29) led the charge in this one, eviscerating the Giants for 3 TDs on Monday night. Phillip Lindsay (15) and James White (14) also kicked in decent weeks, while Mohamed Sanu (19) and Mike Williams (17.5) both performed admirably as well. It’s always nice to take home a win when 3 of your best players are on Byes, but he’ll have to do it all over again in Week 10 against Mike. And he’ll do so without the services of Lindsay, White, and Sanu. I’d say I’m rooting for you but I’m not. Long live the King of Shit Mountain.
7. Dirty D -1
127-152.5 Loss to Mickey Mouse Club
In yet another upset, Mike fell victim to the 3 pronged attack of Josh Jacobs (31), Derrick Henry (23.5) and CMC (45.5) the last of which decided to go god mode against the Titans. On his side of things, Mike had a good week but simply got outscored. Matt Stafford (36) is knocking on the top-5 QB door and Emmanuel Sanders (25.5) is thriving in his new home. Both Leonard Fournette (10.5) and Marlon Mack (10) were relative disappointments and Tyrell Williams (5.5) failed to build on his big Week 8. Mike now rests at 4-5 on the year but still only remains 2 games back of the division lead. He’s going to have to steal a win against Brendan in Week 10 if he wants to stay in the hunt. With the return of AJ Green still pending and the Saints back off their bye, Mike will be at near full strength once again.
8. Kittle and Blitz -1
105.5-132 Loss to Alshon Jeffery Epstein’s Gals
Ah yes, my Bizarro Team. If you were unaware, John currently stands at #3 in points scored and 10th in the standings. This team (and Andy’s and Frank’s really) is empirical evidence that there is no justice in the world.
John’s roster was a bit topheavy this week, with Tyler Lockett (38.5) being the obvious MVP and George Kittle (16) finding the end zone. However, Gardner Minshew (14) was turnover-happy and LeSean McCoy (0.5) ceded his role to Damien Williams. Chris Godwin (9.5) was fine but took a backseat to Mike Evans and the golden boy(s) of the roster Patriots D/ST (3) finally had a bad week. With the poor performance, they now fall to #20 overall sandwiched between the aforementioned Evans and Minshew on the year. With only 4 weeks remaining every win will become more valuable for John and he will have no easy assignment in Week 10 against Christian.
9. Mickey Mouse Club +1
152.5-127 Win over Dirty D
Even with starting a few duds, Andy still managed to grab top scoring honors this week. His running back Hydra has been outstanding of late and has more than picked up the slack for the rest of the roster. Josh Allen (18) has been fine as far as streaming goes, and both Robby Anderson (4) and DJ Chark (5) were underwhelming at best. Travis Kelce (9.5) hasn’t put up the flashy numbers he has over the last few seasons, but he is still a top 3 TE and a must start every week with Mahomes on the mend. With Hollywood Brown (5.5) and Scary Terry (5) still unimpressive, and DeSean Jackson (0.5) lost for the year, wide receiver depth is pretty grim after the breakout Chark. Andy may be a long shot for the playoffs but he can at least make some noise down the stretch, whether it be playing spoiler or on the trade market.
10. Drake’s New Favorite Team +2
150.5-124 Win over Voodoo Mama Juju
LiMonta saw that dress in his future and replied with a firm “no thank you” as he nicely overcame Christian in Week 9. Kenyan Drake (32) seems to be enjoying the move to Arizona and Jameis Winston (26 [21 for Cousins - you win!]) and Zach Ertz (25.5) were both excellent. Throw in Amari Cooper (19) and DJ Moore (18.5) and this team was just plain productive all over the place. Well, except the Broncos D/ST (1). But hey, I’d start anyone against Cleveland too.
It’s been a messy season for this team. Saquon’s injury plus some underperforming keepers now result in a 4-5 record and the 2nd fewest points. While only 2 games back of yours truly is far from insurmountable, it remains to be seen what LiMonta can do with this season. Saquon is an obvious target for poachers as he can’t be kept, and Kenyan can draw interest as well if he keeps this up. For now he’ll have a chance to put a little more distance between himself and the cellar against Rob in Week 10. It’s too bad this team isn’t a little better or you know damn well I’d be ranking you 3rd.
11. Alshon Jeffery Epstein’s Gals +0
132-105.5 Win over Kittle and Blitz
Rob pounced on an opportunity to steal a win in Week 9, mostly on the backs of Zeke (20), Carlos Hyde (20) and Russel Willson (49). Willson has been playing out of his mind and is a clear frontrunner for league MVP after this latest 350+yard, 5 touchdown affair. The rest of the roster though left some to be desired. Stefon Diggs (1.5) failed to capitalize on Thielen’s departure, and Alshon Jeffery (5) continues to cement his mediocrity. Still though, the combo of Zeke and Russ can drag even the crappiest of rosters halfway to relevancy. He’ll be without Hyde and Jeffery for Week 10 against LiMonta in what should shape up to be the least exciting game of the year so far.
12. Patty Munch -3
101.5-125 Loss to The Brady Bunch
While I can’t say I’m unhappy with Week 9’s results, Frank’s season continues to slip out his grasp. Mahomes wisely remained on the bench for 1 more week and Sammy Spleen (14) couldn’t fill the hole he left in Frank’s heart. Tevin Coleman (5) faltered after his huge Week 8 and the Allen Robinson (0.5) Jonnu Smith (2.5) duo were duds. Although there were some bright spots in Tyreek Hill (31) and Kenny Golladay (29), it simply wasn’t enough to overcome the underperformance elsewhere. Frank is currently projected to be our next Vanna White, but at least he’s set up nicely for 2020 with Mahomes and Golladay under control. We’ll see if he can avoid clinching a losing record in Week 10.
123-123.5 Loss to BeWare -
It was another SNF dagger for Olc, and this one was a real heartbreaker. Despite some strong showings out of DeShaun Watson (21), Melvin Gordon (25.5) and DK Metcalf (31) it was just too little to bring home the W. This was a crucial loss for Olc as the win would have solidified him atop the NBPL, but Olc is still well positioned to try for a Bye. What’s more, he now has a target on his back for most points as his lead in the category has shrunk to just 16 points. On the bright side, he gets the bish commish in Week 10 who’s team is absolutely crippled with Byes and injuries. If there’s a week to go without Watson, it’s this one.
2. Voodoo Mama Juju +1
124-150.5 Loss to Drake’s New Favorite Team
In another Week 9 upset, Christian scored well but just couldn’t overcome the prowess of uh, Kenyan Drake. Christian saw nice weeks out of David Montogmery (21.5) and Mike Evans (35) but fell short with Aaron Rodgers (14) Juju (2.5) and to an extent Dalvin Cook (15). Christian now finds himself locked in a tough 3 way tie for 2nd place in the Melvins, and is making a claim for the most points crown. In Week 10 he’ll face off with John who will have to go without his best player. Hopefully the sudden rise of Devin Singletary can help offset some of the inconsistencies this team has show thus far.
3. BeWare - +1
123.5-123 Win over The DK Crew
Despite back to back weeks of hot garbage, Drew managed to weasel his way into another win in Week 9,with mostly Action Jackson (30) to thank for it. Add in some solid performances from Jamison Crowder (18), Le’Veon Bell (16) and Jordan Howard (15.5) and it was just enough to sneak by and obtain sole possession of 1st place. With both Edelman and Howard on Bye in Week 10 and Le’Veon nursing an injury, Drew may be headed back for mediocrity. Pat Mahomes is also looking to make his triumphant return for Frank who could play spoiler for Drew. He may be in 1st, but the reigning champ has looked quite beatable the last few weeks and the dynasty is in jeopardy. I’ll just have to make sure not to give him half my roster again this year. He already took a few of them but they dead now so no harm no foul.
4. The Jerk Goffs -3
59-112.5 Loss to James Whites Only
We have a new low scoring champ everybody! This was a grade-A shit show and I bet Murph is incredibly relieved he didn’t come to Football Sunday this week as he would have been roasted alive for being so bad at this. Only one player managed double digits and it was a paltry 13 points from Felipe Rios. Aside from Aaron Jones (3.5) and Darren Waller (6) who have been otherwise excellent this year, the rest of this roster has no excuse. Sony Michel (2.5) has been inconsistent. Keenan Allen (5.5) has had 2 good weeks all year. Davante Adams (7.5) has been forgettable when he’s not injured. This team needs Alvin Kamara back yesterday, and he’ll need all the help he can get with Andy and CMC on the dockett for Week 10.
5. The Brady Bunch +0
125-101.5 Win over Patty Munch
Never have I seen such a false advertisement. A luxurious castle built upon a foundation of sand. This team is a phony, store-brand waste of time. And yet here I am in 1st place in the Melvins division. Bow down idiots, you somehow allowed this terrible roster to be holding down a bye in Week 10.
But, as previously stated, this roster is in fact terrible. With legitimately no depth to speak of, Week 10 has brought a massive amount of bye weeks that have lead to me starting not 1 but 2 Miami Dolphins. But hey, knowing my stupid luck I’ll probably drop 150 on olc. Head to head is a joke.
Aside from a nice Marvin Jones (27) performance, this squad was pretty meh. Both Terrific Tom (16) and Chris Carson (17) haven’t scored over 20 in 3 weeks. DeAndre Hopkins (14) has been fine but not the guy I intended to trade for. Adrian Peterson (18.5) has been surprisingly effective at points, but how long can I trust an aging running back on the Redskins? In the end, if this team does manage to snag a playoff spot I imagine it will stumble into a buzzsaw and be promptly bounced back to reality. I’d just like to give a preemptive congratulations to whatever team has the honor of grinding me into powder come Week 14.
6. James Whites Only +2
112.5-59 Win over The Jerk Goffs
Just when I’m confident Brendan’s team sucks again he goes and gets gifted a win. Despite a shaky start as Adam Thielen (0) was re-injured in the 1st quarter Brendan managed to hold down a respectable point total. Not that it mattered, but still.
Dak Prescott (29) led the charge in this one, eviscerating the Giants for 3 TDs on Monday night. Phillip Lindsay (15) and James White (14) also kicked in decent weeks, while Mohamed Sanu (19) and Mike Williams (17.5) both performed admirably as well. It’s always nice to take home a win when 3 of your best players are on Byes, but he’ll have to do it all over again in Week 10 against Mike. And he’ll do so without the services of Lindsay, White, and Sanu. I’d say I’m rooting for you but I’m not. Long live the King of Shit Mountain.
7. Dirty D -1
127-152.5 Loss to Mickey Mouse Club
In yet another upset, Mike fell victim to the 3 pronged attack of Josh Jacobs (31), Derrick Henry (23.5) and CMC (45.5) the last of which decided to go god mode against the Titans. On his side of things, Mike had a good week but simply got outscored. Matt Stafford (36) is knocking on the top-5 QB door and Emmanuel Sanders (25.5) is thriving in his new home. Both Leonard Fournette (10.5) and Marlon Mack (10) were relative disappointments and Tyrell Williams (5.5) failed to build on his big Week 8. Mike now rests at 4-5 on the year but still only remains 2 games back of the division lead. He’s going to have to steal a win against Brendan in Week 10 if he wants to stay in the hunt. With the return of AJ Green still pending and the Saints back off their bye, Mike will be at near full strength once again.
8. Kittle and Blitz -1
105.5-132 Loss to Alshon Jeffery Epstein’s Gals
Ah yes, my Bizarro Team. If you were unaware, John currently stands at #3 in points scored and 10th in the standings. This team (and Andy’s and Frank’s really) is empirical evidence that there is no justice in the world.
John’s roster was a bit topheavy this week, with Tyler Lockett (38.5) being the obvious MVP and George Kittle (16) finding the end zone. However, Gardner Minshew (14) was turnover-happy and LeSean McCoy (0.5) ceded his role to Damien Williams. Chris Godwin (9.5) was fine but took a backseat to Mike Evans and the golden boy(s) of the roster Patriots D/ST (3) finally had a bad week. With the poor performance, they now fall to #20 overall sandwiched between the aforementioned Evans and Minshew on the year. With only 4 weeks remaining every win will become more valuable for John and he will have no easy assignment in Week 10 against Christian.
9. Mickey Mouse Club +1
152.5-127 Win over Dirty D
Even with starting a few duds, Andy still managed to grab top scoring honors this week. His running back Hydra has been outstanding of late and has more than picked up the slack for the rest of the roster. Josh Allen (18) has been fine as far as streaming goes, and both Robby Anderson (4) and DJ Chark (5) were underwhelming at best. Travis Kelce (9.5) hasn’t put up the flashy numbers he has over the last few seasons, but he is still a top 3 TE and a must start every week with Mahomes on the mend. With Hollywood Brown (5.5) and Scary Terry (5) still unimpressive, and DeSean Jackson (0.5) lost for the year, wide receiver depth is pretty grim after the breakout Chark. Andy may be a long shot for the playoffs but he can at least make some noise down the stretch, whether it be playing spoiler or on the trade market.
10. Drake’s New Favorite Team +2
150.5-124 Win over Voodoo Mama Juju
LiMonta saw that dress in his future and replied with a firm “no thank you” as he nicely overcame Christian in Week 9. Kenyan Drake (32) seems to be enjoying the move to Arizona and Jameis Winston (26 [21 for Cousins - you win!]) and Zach Ertz (25.5) were both excellent. Throw in Amari Cooper (19) and DJ Moore (18.5) and this team was just plain productive all over the place. Well, except the Broncos D/ST (1). But hey, I’d start anyone against Cleveland too.
It’s been a messy season for this team. Saquon’s injury plus some underperforming keepers now result in a 4-5 record and the 2nd fewest points. While only 2 games back of yours truly is far from insurmountable, it remains to be seen what LiMonta can do with this season. Saquon is an obvious target for poachers as he can’t be kept, and Kenyan can draw interest as well if he keeps this up. For now he’ll have a chance to put a little more distance between himself and the cellar against Rob in Week 10. It’s too bad this team isn’t a little better or you know damn well I’d be ranking you 3rd.
11. Alshon Jeffery Epstein’s Gals +0
132-105.5 Win over Kittle and Blitz
Rob pounced on an opportunity to steal a win in Week 9, mostly on the backs of Zeke (20), Carlos Hyde (20) and Russel Willson (49). Willson has been playing out of his mind and is a clear frontrunner for league MVP after this latest 350+yard, 5 touchdown affair. The rest of the roster though left some to be desired. Stefon Diggs (1.5) failed to capitalize on Thielen’s departure, and Alshon Jeffery (5) continues to cement his mediocrity. Still though, the combo of Zeke and Russ can drag even the crappiest of rosters halfway to relevancy. He’ll be without Hyde and Jeffery for Week 10 against LiMonta in what should shape up to be the least exciting game of the year so far.
12. Patty Munch -3
101.5-125 Loss to The Brady Bunch
While I can’t say I’m unhappy with Week 9’s results, Frank’s season continues to slip out his grasp. Mahomes wisely remained on the bench for 1 more week and Sammy Spleen (14) couldn’t fill the hole he left in Frank’s heart. Tevin Coleman (5) faltered after his huge Week 8 and the Allen Robinson (0.5) Jonnu Smith (2.5) duo were duds. Although there were some bright spots in Tyreek Hill (31) and Kenny Golladay (29), it simply wasn’t enough to overcome the underperformance elsewhere. Frank is currently projected to be our next Vanna White, but at least he’s set up nicely for 2020 with Mahomes and Golladay under control. We’ll see if he can avoid clinching a losing record in Week 10.